My partner beats me and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m scared and ashamed but I need help, where do I go?
I can take the abuse from my partner, but I’m worried about our kids
What sort of counselling services are available to someone who has been in an abusive relationship?
I’ve left an abusive relationship, but I’m afraid that my ex will come and find me. I need protection, what can I do?
Relationship abuse is a very serious matter. There is help out there for you. It can be hard to tell other people what’s going on, and hard to get out of the relationship even if this is what you want to do.
You can find online guides on how to deal with domestic violence by:
My partner beats me and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m scared and ashamed but I need help. Where do I go?
An abusive partner might try and make you stay by creating a situation where you are dependent on them for money, threatening you, or threatening violence to someone you love. If they have started doing this, it is time to get some help.
In situations where you feel the immediate safety and wellbeing of you or your children is under threat, you need to contact the Police in the first instance on 111.
If you are a woman who wishes to leave the relationship but you are being prevented from doing so by your partner – or by the fear of what your partner might do if they track you down after you leave.
Women’s Refuges provide a safe place where you (and your children) can go, and your abusive partner will not find you. You can take your children with you so they are safe too. Their website includes online resources that can help you decide on what to do if you’re in an abusive relationship. To find a Women’s Refuge near you, click here.
Shine has a Domestic Abuse Helpline 0508 744 633 which you can call for help and advice if you are in an abusive relationship.
The abusive partner needs to seek help to change their behaviour. Relationship issues may also need to be addressed, but before they can be, the abusive partner needs to learn how to live in a violence free way .
You can also find information for friends and family of an abusive partner, on the the ‘Are you OK’ website. You can call them on 0800 456 450 if either you or your partner needs help or support.
Whether or not you continue to live with your partner, there may be a range of support available to help you. If you would like to discuss your situation and explore your options further in a safe environment where your privacy and confidentiality are respected, your local Citizens Advice Bureau can help you.
I can take the abuse from my partner, but I’m worried about our kids
Even if your partner does not eventually start hitting your children, they could already be suffering from abuse simply from having to witness the abuse that you’re receiving.
You might feel unable to help your children because you’re scared for your own safety, or because you feel you have nowhere to go. But you need to know that if your children are being abused and you don’t try to get help, you could be prosecuted for failure to protect them (read about this on our page about reporting abuse of children and vulnerable adults). {link to Reporting abuse of children and vulnerable adults}.
You can call the Women’s Refuge Crisisline 0800 REFUGE (0800 733 843) or the Shine Domestic Abuse Helpline 0508 744 633 for help and advice.
Or you can discuss your situation and explore your options further in a safe environment where your privacy and confidentiality are respected, at your local Citizens Advice Bureau.
What sort of counselling services are available to someone who has been in an abusive relationship?
If you have been in an abusive relationship, counselling may help you deal with what you’ve been through.
If your children witnessed the abuse, they may benefit from counselling too.
Victim Support can give you help and advice on what to do and where to go for the counselling you might need. They have people who have been trained to help people who have been victims of crime or abuse (including witnessing abuse). If you’d like to speak with Victim Support, call them on 0800 842 846.
Jigsaw also provides support services to families affected by violence, while Women’s Refuges run support groups for both women and children.
Relationship Services offer an affordable counselling service for all sorts of situations, including abusive relationships.
There are many organisations and individual which provide counselling for people dealing with the trauma of an abusive relationship; your local CAB can help you find a one near you.
For more information on counselling, see our Relationship Counselling section.
I’ve left an abusive relationship, but I’m afraid that my ex will come and find me. I need protection. What can I do?
You can apply to take out a protection order to keep your former partner away from you. If the person doesn’t abide by the protection order, they can be arrest and fined or imprisoned.
Women’s Refuge has several resources on how to keep safe during and after an abusive relationship, including a Safety Plan for after You've Left. These resources are available on their website.